NAFSI ZUNGUMZA

Katika mawingu ya fikira,
Nilijipata nikiwaza haya.
Hayakuwa ya maana kwenu,
Yalitoweka mithili ya maneno.

Wananchi hawana utulivu,
Kukicha wanapuliza jivu,
Masalio ya wafu na mali,
Najiuliza huu kweli ni uhai?

Heri mfu basi aliyeaga usingizini,
Kuishi na uoga akilini ni hatia,
Kwa nafsi yangu, iliyozoea usalama,
Hawajui nina mipango ya kuhama…

Naitazama ikienda pahala pa upweke,
Inapiga kambi bila furaha,
Wasiwasi anaona haya kumsalimu,
Kwa umbali naiskia harufu ya ndimu.

Kitunguu, kitunguu saumu na mdalasini,
Kuchanganywa pamoja na shubiri,
Nani huyo ananifuata na machungu?
Najitenga wasije wakaninyunyuzia.

Wananitazama waskisubiri nitakacho sema,
Hawapati jibu nafsi yangu ni ya Malaika,
Itakuwaje nijihusishe na wanyama hao?
Wakatali kama wawindaji haramu…

Nazama sasa niwe maji ya mageuzi,
Nijirudishe kwa maumbile ya Mwenyezi,
Ndiposa kila mwezi watafute nafsi yangu,
Watazame juu ninakokaa kama mawingu.


 M.O.O aka Carswell evoL

BEFORE AND AFTER

Before;
Sun met moon, I saw you
Clouds filled sky, you were mine
Rocks turned dust, solid was trust
Hydrogen combines oxygen, our secret alchemy

Before;
Wheels got engined, you controlled fate
Clocks became watches, my time belonged to you
Lightning converted to electricity, you charged my senses
Metallic objects flew, we teleported into another dimension

Before;
Traditions greeted civilization, you colonized my heart
Religion confused culture, we consented to fusion
Scholars compiled the bible, our story was complete
Science argued out belief, I learnt to revere you


M.O.O aka Carswell evoL

A DAY WELL SPENT

Before dawn, half sleep, half wake.
Sun-light caresses my subconscious.
I begin to see the real side,
Your personality spread out.
Your attitude cascades my mental,
You make me feel different.
Day.

Dew on my feet,
Tear traces obstructing eye-lids.
Pour chilled water over my face,
Then wore my weekend clothes.
Afternoon.

We met, osculated mentally.
We went, felt it unusually.
We left, walked specially.
Night.

Love beyond time made,
Withdrawal entangled attachment.
Little said much done,
The day ended.
Mid-night.

Carswell evoL aka M.O.O

YEARS IN BETWEEN

Valiant,
Unreciprocated,
Conditional,
Secret,
Forbidden,
False,
Love,love,love.

Ignore all that,point is this
Somehow,somewhere it exists.
If I'm in love with you,
Don't drag age based disparity into emotional clarity.

Never say things like,"too old for me."
It shoots a conclusive bullet into my mind,
That your blind towards un-forthcoming success in my palms,
So what could I possibly table?
Name it triggered deductions.

Never say," the sun shone your face before mine."
Birth dates are not chosen,neither is lights out.
All you saw since three or seven,whilst I was still a virtual concept,
Shouldn't make you brag and despise my littleness.
Instead embrace and teach me what I need to learn.

Never say,"I can't give you what you need."
For I can tell you things you've never heard,pushing you to the point of not needing nor wanting,
But sympathy should not make you change your perception.

Never wake up and talk,"no man can match my class."
For there is one who actually can but be warned he could easily surpass yours
Then dump you,wasted,moving on like you never existed.
Because he mastered the years in between you and him.

Back to me,
In between you and I,
Are two variations only,status and pride
Two other constants,time and change
Never let variables dictate your constants.
Be human and love without discrimination.
Let love be love,not hate.

M.O.O aka Carswell evoL

WOMAN OF MY OWN

When she's by the throne,
majestic seat of troubling trials,
leaning back on unrelenting dissapointments,
Her child echoes joy while laying on the lawn,
this babe is never alone,
angels walk by her ever since her annointment.

Mother,knows spiritualy she's safe.
Lingering in her mind is how to always provide.
For the forbidden marital divide,
Cast him off,now she is the head and epic-centre of her family.
Charging atoms of good demeanor.
Fusing thoughts of better tomorrows'.

No subject of life escapes her scope of reason.
Becoming the strongest woman under the son.

I've never heard her cry,just seen silent tears roll as she tries,
harder and harder alone until she transforms into a self made epitome of success,
then her child the perfect reflection of feminine ownership.

M.O.O aka Carswell evoL

WISH I COULD

Drowsy eyes...
Fade.
Away into sleep mode.
Words.
Auto-mute within my mouth.
Thoughts.
Like dreamy pictures come.
Wishes.
Golden diamonds we look.
Never.
Do we see nor find that love.
Treasure.
I just wish you just wish.
Impulse.
Competes reason,minerals.
Speak.
Little done slow emotions.
Lost.
Hearts separated by life.
Rotation.
Stops at the clash of our voices.

You know that I cannot.
Not by choice but because of the natural order of things.

Matter,
Definite states.
Customs,
Norms unchangeable.
Needs,
I never fully meet,
Wants,
I hardly see in you,
Blur,
My focus dwindles,
As,
Revolution of feelings gyrate.

And I sense you veering off the axis of my power,
Not absolute,basic erasable love bonds.

Fading,
As I sleep off alert floor,
Going,
My ambitions shrinking,
Cascaded,
By deceit,hate,distrust and lust.

If I could stop and change it all I would,
But I cant.

Carswell evoL aka M.O.O

WINE AND WATER

Conversations often lead to actions.
I sit and listen to her speak,
Roof top leak,
Drips of wisdom,
Words of realistic reasons.

She sips white wine,
It's called dry,
But it feels as wet as her voice,
As she drowns me in her thoughts,of what used to be of her.
Humility from her youthful days.
I'm proud of her more than ever.

I feel inspired,
I mix my water with wine,
A perfect cocktail of the past and present.
Wine skins to pipes,
I'm pouring all of her into my system,has she realised?

She will when at that official baptism of my daughter,
She becomes my first Angel's godmother.

Bless you mum.
Your special to me in ways that the genesis of our story can never reveal.

M.O.O aka Carswell evoL

WIND AND OBJECTS

Life is living in time but not living without air.
The very air that transforms into wind and strokes objects.
Sometimes moving them,like her whispers move me.
Whispers bundled in peaceful typhoons.

Brushing over my face,squeezing into my ears. 
Temporary deafness,my mind is left for her voice to engulf,
My reasons are spun up into her innocent raging beauty.
I shut my eyes,my body is thrown into a mine.

I grope around in the dark seeking light,
I grab an object,gentle and red.
Yes,I feel the colors in the dark,for in my head,blowing light reveals what the eyes hardly imagine.
My touch is back with a softer feeling...

Where my feet tend to walk in strides of fearlessness,
Trodding over valuable stones that no man can assume,
Yet I choose not to pick any,
The minerals ask me why?

"Her majesty,my instructor within my literary self,ordered me not to,"
Thereby I follow,she leads then guides me into a beautifully dreadful subject,
Where objects are invisible and only she can turn me into everything and nothing in a few words.

Will she say those words that will contort time and matter?
The words that will manipulate emotional dimensions and unravel greatness located inside my eyes?
Healing my partial deafness restoring my sanity temporarily,
Blowing me back to reality and objectionable subservity?

They will say I'm a poetic lunatic.
My static self forever nailed to the massive woman she be.

M.O.O aka Carswell evoL

WHO FIXED WHO

There is a Broken Calabash in Africa,
Brother blames sister.

Even as;
The skies are getting darker,
First sun's back withdrawing farther.
Ever admirable moon getting dimmer.

Mountains conserved the water baskets,
Released moisture to give hills rain.
Farms were fertile and the harvest was ripe.
The sun went farther.

Bushes are thriving teasing crops,as they consume the lands.
Hands are tied,
Moons secretly cry.

As the shepherds watch in silence.
Almost blaming the gods.

Mini-moons in the eyes of men undergo phases.
Inquiry,
Lying,
Blaming,
Forgetting,
Confusion.

Judgement has befallen the second suns.
Big minds declare,"crescentia cujete,has fallen."
Milk and water spilt.

The gourd tree,once green and edible.
Its medicine only known to specific men.
First sun attempted to recover the milk but they wont let him.
Moon added water to the ground,in the mix there was a fix.
Mountains plead foul,
Broken calabash becomes a bowl,cracked at the brim.

The hills cannot drink,tree of knowledge thinks....
Will the sip be a trap?
Truth is subtle.

The moon-eyed men grape undivinely.
Chaos looms.
Blame game flames,the rocks are shuddering.

Fifty is ruled by three.
Soils of phasing moons ripple like water.
The second sun,frees and interlocks,average and poor alike starving.
Hungering from thirst.
Gold shall turn to dust before the doer is found.

Pieces float on the Rivers,
gushing down the Falls and into the Ocean.
Seas oversee yonder for they are the first suns.
The world asks ,"who broke the dry calabash?"

A wise voice responded,"The Family did."

Now they(sun,second sun,moon,mountains,hills and sea)all stare in stupor to what they let Africa turn into...
A grave for dead calabashes.

Revolution Beckons.

M.O.O aka Carswell evoL